I went to see "The Wizard"!

I finally got a chance to see my favorite movie, The Wizard of Oz on the big screen! If you've never seen it on the big screen, you've still got time!

The movie celebrated its 75th anniversary last year and was shown in IMAX theaters to celebrate. Unfortunately, I was not able to attend and was extremely sad about it, but as you can see, the sadness is over! I should also add that this was also a birthday gift to me (my big sis paid and watched it with me).

 

From Wikipedia

I'm a great lover of film--classic film in particular, as you can probably tell by this blog. I minored in Film/Video Studies in college, so not only is The Wizard of Oz "just" a favorite movie of mine, but it's sort of a "dream film" for me, as well. Whether I'm watching it on a big screen or a TV screen, it's an event, period. Whenever I sit down to watch it, I'm not sitting down to "watch a movie", I'm sitting down to experience something--to be taken away. I'm also scanning the screen for things I didn't see in the last viewing--opening my ears for sounds I never noticed before. I'm always in awe when I finish watching this 1939 movie--and creating at least one film with as big an impact as The Wizard of Oz is a huge dream of mine (why I call it a "dream film"). 

 

From Wikipedia

I'm so, so happy I got to see this movie in the theater. I couldn't contain myself. Even as I write this, I can't contain myself. While watching the movie, I had to keep crossing my arms and legs to hide my excitement during the epic tornado scene. I even had to stop myself from leaning over to my sister to whisper fun facts and trivia to her (I only stopped because she claims that I can't whisper). Man, I'm such a geek about this movie that even the intro and outro music (*doom--DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMM (roar! roar! roar!) DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMM*) sends me into fit of muffled giggles of excitement.

*sigh*

I'm getting *this* close to popping in the DVD right now (at 11PM EST), so...it's about that time for me to wrap this up. I hope this post didn't make me seem too nerdy--or pretentious, either!

Either way, thank you for taking the time to read my gushing--and I hope you go see The Wizard of Oz on the big screen on January 14th or on any other date in the future!

  

2015 - The Year of Joy, Optimism, and Carefree-ness

Joy! Optimism! Carefree-ness! Is "carefree-ness" a word? It is now if it wasn't before.

2014 was probably one of the most "hot and cold" years I've ever had in my 20+ years of life. From stress over grades needed to graduate college (cold) to receiving my degree (hot!). From seeing people like Shonda Rhimes, Steve McQueen, Ava DuVernay, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, and countless others dominating screens big and small (Hot diggity-dog!) to seeing young people like Mike Brown, Tamir Rice, and over 250 school girls dominate my small screen in ways that they should not have been. This 365-day journey had its good stretches and its rough patches, but I made it, and I want to put it all behind and march into the future.

Joy, optimism, and carefree-ness--how will Aige obtain these things in 2015? These are notes to myself:

When things get rough:

Leave the social media alone for 24 hours. Light some candles and sign in to Pandora. Watch Stormy Weather and other musicals.

How to stay in tip-top shape (mentally, emotionally, and physically):

Dance to La Lupe, Celia Cruz, Azealia Banks, and Patra as often as possible. Make your precious smoothies and name them after your favorite classic screen stars. Drink plenty of water, of course. (Note to self: order one of these asap)

Laziness buster?

Do everything computer-related in the evening. Get mom to hide your Sims game every once in awhile.

Creative juices not flowing?

Watch some classic movies, read some classic books, and listen to old time radio broadcasts.   

My plans are pretty simple for now.

  

What do you want out of YOUR 2015?  

"Chick" shoes :)

First of all, a big thank you to my mom who is buying the majority of my needs and plenty of my wants right now.

One of her more recent purchases are these pair of shoes:

(Sorry about the low quality, terrible lighting, terrible angle--and I think the watermark site I used diminished the quality, as well)

My mom and I were both having a hard time trying to figure out what kind of shoes we wanted. I'd gone from picking up a pair of simple black flats to some cute oxford shoes, and finally, to these little babies (that actually caught my eye when we first walked into the store). I now call them my "Chick" shoes.

Nina Mae McKinney as "Chick" (Hallelujah 1929)

I've always wanted a pair of shoes like Chick, and I think my (mom's) purchase is as close as one could get in 2014 (outside of custom-made shoes, of course).

What do you think? :)

The opportunity to be patient...

The scene above is from Evan Almighty (2007). It's my favorite scene from that movie. The scene and its message became of great importance to me just a few days ago.

After writing this post, I did some thinking and planning. Of course (as indicated in the link), I'd decided once and for all that I am going to be a filmmaker. I am going to know all there is to know about the filmmaking process. I am going to go to the "film capital" and cater to my passion. Then, I visited the University of Southern California's website--specifically the website for the School of Cinematic Arts. Of course, most film schools require some materials with your application. When I saw some of the needed application materials, I freaked out. "I don't have any of this!" "This is a lot!" "I won't be able to do this!" I'd barely even read the list and had decided that it was too much.

See, while I can be a bit of a procrastinator, I'm also impatient. Strange combination, right? I'm the type of person who wants to write a 120-page script in a month. I'm the person who would give herself three months to write a good novel. That's me. 

But suddenly, as I freaked out over the Cinematic Arts School requirements, something hit me. "No, Adrienne, you don't have any films under your belt. And yes, you would need to put a little work into this application process." The Evan Almighty scene came to mind. This was my opportunity to practice patience. And diligence, as well.

I'd given myself a year to work, save money, network, and "work on film stuff" before planning my big move to Los Angeles. I may need more than a year to be ready. It could be three or four years--who knows? However long it takes, it requires patience. I am accepting the opportunity. 

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I started lying to myself...

I started lying to myself and worst of all--I started believing my lie. I'd began telling myself that "all I wanted to do was write." I started telling myself that "I could just be a screenwriter." I was lying to myself. My Twitter handle is literally "iDreamMovies".

I love movies. I love cinema. I love the making of a movie. Why did I start telling myself that I was only interested in screenwriting? Why, fear of course. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure--fear of being a leader (director). 

I've just awaken from my usual slumber after a series of unusual dreams. I was in grocery stores, restaurants, parking lots, in school, George Burns and Gracie Allen's house (I'd fallen asleep with the TV on). The school setting is a recurring thing for me. There were a number of other settings and themes that I wish not to disclose, but overall, every setting and every thing that I was able to look up in a dream dictionary all had something to do with opportunity, career, life choices, ambition--things like that. I've been hindering myself and labeling the hindering as "waiting" or "trying to figure out what I want to do."

Also, a few days ago, I had a conversation with my mom about job hunting. After going on about how there's nothing in Richmond and how I've been applying for things that have nothing to do with Film, she finally said, "Well, you know you don't have to stay in Richmond."

Of course I didn't. I knew this. But something about my mom being the one to say this made all the difference to me. Was I waiting for her permission? I don't know. I'd been looking at jobs in Hampton Roads area and Washington, D.C.--but not Los Angeles, where I really want(ed) to go. Why was I doing this to myself??? 

I love dreams so much. Dreams tell you what you need to know and understand about yourself. As our dream dictionary says, it's a mirror. 

I just felt the need to share this.

I Got My Wisdom Teeth Taken Out!

All four of 'em!

I've been slow with posting on all of my social media accounts because of it. Since Friday, I've felt everything from grogginess to nausea--and the pain has only just begun. Staring into screens made me feel a bit dizzy at first (still does a bit), but I was able to punch out a couple of paragraphs on some POC in Classic Film posts. 

I also took up making a three-foot long chain stitch crocheting:

And I finally started reading Maya Angelou's timeless novel, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

That's been the last four days for me. I hope you all had a good weekend and I hope the rest of your week is wonderful!

:)

Falling in Love with Eartha Kitt

Photo by Allan Warren (from Wikipedia)

Eartha Kitt was one of those many people I'd grown up "knowing". I knew that face when I saw it--an unmistakable face. Then, there was that voice--including the "purr". For me, knowing Eartha Kitt was much like knowing Whitney Houston, Janet Jackson, or Michael Jackson as a kid in the 90s/00s--these were people you just . That is a testament to her longevity in the entertainment industry.

In recent years--when I'm using the internet and social media more rampantly than ever--I've been exposed to more than just the purr and the "sexy grandma". I've gotten to know Eartha Kitt: the Katherine Dunham dancer, the friend to James Dean, and most importantly, the activist--the always wise woman. After borrowing her first autobiography (Thursday's Child) from my school's library, I've learned more about "Eartha Mae"--girl with the quintessential "rags to riches" story. 

In concert in 2007 (also from Wikipedia)

To avoid spoiling Thursday's Child, I will say this and only this: Eartha Kitt was the ultimate survivor. She is and was a once in a lifetime presence on this earth. In fact, the more I read and discover, the more I miss (and appreciate) that presence. The book is a rare find. The copy that I've borrowed from the library has been there for decades--since my university was actually a division of another school (see photo below). 

However, I urge any and everyone to find a copy, if you can. It's definitely on the top of my "Things to Find/Buy When I'm Filthy Rich" list.

My university's copy: "3/6/57 - Gift - Dr. Herman" 
Old Dominion University ("Norfolk Division") branched off from the College of William & Mary in 1962

After all the reading and researching; interview-watching, photo-hunting, and more, Eartha Kitt has become more than just a "woman I know of" and even more than someone I admire--she's easily become one of (if not the) greatest influence in my life right now, a time in which I'm preparing to take on the so-called "real world" and embark on new journeys. Words cannot express how grateful I have become for her presence and for her words.


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More Reasons to Love Eartha Kitt

On love and "compromise" (from the 1982 documentary, All By Myself: The Eartha Kitt Story)


Detroit Black Journal interview

"I Want to Be Evil" 
(Live Performance)


What's My Line? episodes

May 30, 1954

July 12, 1959

July 23, 1961



Simply Eartha
(Link to website)

Kitt Shapiro, daughter of Ms. Eartha Kitt, talks about Simply Eartha, a lifestyle brand created in honor of her mother (if anyone is moved to buy me a Christmas gift...)

21 Things Only Richmonders (Virginia) Understand

*created on June 24, 2014*

My best friend shared this Bustle article (link below) about Richmond, Virginia with me and it was pretty spot on. It had me in class (I'm a multi-tasker) turning red from trying not to literally "laugh out loud". 

My favorites are "The School Field Trip", "The Watermelon Festival", "Arthur Ashe", "Ukrop's", and the "VCU" one. 

"YOU THINK YOU KNOW HUMIDITY? 21 THINGS ONLY RICHMOND, VIRGINIA NATIVES UNDERSTAND"

Reflection on St. Louis Blues (1929)

A few weeks ago, I watched the 1929 short movie-musical, St. Louis Blues starring Bessie Smith (check out my review, by the way) I was so moved by the film, that I decided to write a reflection on it.

St. Louis Blues on Youtube: Part I/Part II

OVERVIEW
*spoiler alert*


St. Louis Blues centers around "Bessie" a woman in love with a not-so-great gamblin' man named "Jimmy" (according to IMDb, he's a pimp also). Jimmy is cheating on her with another woman (played by the unsung Isabel Washington). When Bessie catches the two in her bedroom, she fights the woman (and an irritated landlord or janitor), but she doesn't fight Jimmy (of course). Instead, she begs Jimmy not to leave her and he answers her pleas with a literal "pimp slap". She's paying for his room and board, yet he's supposed to be a "pimp", but that's not important.

In the "second reel" of the movie, Bessie Smith gives a heartbreaking and soul-stirring performance of W.C. Handy's "St. Louis Blues" with the Hall Johnson Choir. When she finishes her song, Jimmy returns to her. They dance together in the middle of the speakeasy dance floor. Bessie is delighted that Jimmy loves her and has returned. However, Jimmy has only returned for money. He sneakily takes money her money, then violently pushes her away and exits with a smug look on his face. 

The patrons do nothing more than stop and gasp and the bartender does nothing more than shake his head out of pity. I don't know what kind of message the creators of this film were trying to relay, but I know what I got out of it--a painful reminder of how much black women endure and the little respect and love we get as human beings. No one bothered to console Bessie. No one bothered to fight Jimmy. This movie is almost 85 years old and I still found that moment to be resonating.

REFLECTION

This moment made me think about an episode of What Would You Do? (that I cannot find, unfortunately) when people immediately intervened when a white actor "verbally abused" his white "significant other", but when a black actor "verbally abused" his black "significant other"--most bystanders kept it moving. One of them actually called the police to say something along the lines of "these people are causing a disturbance". You know, not "a woman is being verbally abused out here, I'm scared her boyfriend/husband might hit her." 

I thought about Whitney Houston bathtub "jokes". Aaliyah airplane "jokes" (would you believe me if I told you that a black feminist I USE to follow actually retweeted a "joke" about Aaliyah being barbecued?). I thought about Lefteye car crash "jokes". Although she wasn't a black woman, I also thought about Howard Stern playing gunshots over Selena's music after she passed away. Are our lives really that meaningless?



I thought about how the abuse that Tina Turner suffered is now a punchline in many-a television shows, movies, and songs. How Rihanna's battered face is practically a meme now.


I thought about how this:

Is supposed to be "funny". 

*update: 3/21/2014*

Apparently, this was supposed to be "funny" too.

My exact reaction. (Not my gif; obtained from Tumblr)

I thought about tweets like "How do y'all know Harriet Tubman wasn't ho, though?" being made after that God awful Harriet Tubman "sextape" comedy video. I thought about the many people who refer to Sally Hemings as Jefferson's "whore" or "bed wench", as though she actually had power and control over body. Not even just Sally Hemings, our many ancestors who were victims of rape, but were/are called "mistresses" and "bed wenches" like...like, any and all sexual relations between white slave masters and enslaved black women was consensual. They weren't mistresses. They weren't bed wenches. They weren't whores. They were RAPE VICTIMS. 

I thought about the young black girls who are slaughtered on social networking sites when someone they once loved and trusted leaks a photo or video of them performing sexual acts. 

I thought about how Carmen Jones (well, Carmen, really) had her death coming to her. How Chick (from Hallelujah!) also had hers coming. How it was only inevitable/karma for Judith (in Temptation) to end up ragged, alone, and with HIV because she dared to look for something more outside of a lackluster marriage (I'm not condoning cheating, but I get this strange feeling that if it were the other way around, Judith would have stuck with Brice because that's what black Christian women/wives are supposed to do, right?). 

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While I was inspired and moved by this movie and its performances, I was also left feeling a little hurt. A little less confident in who I am. I suddenly felt unprotected. Then, I also realized that I'm not fat like the woman in the "choke hold" photo above or dark like the women who are disrespected and insulted DAILY on social networking sites--and these women have it worse off than I do. St. Louis Blues was released eighty-five years ago. Eight DECADES ago--and Bessie's public and ignored abuse still feels like something I've seen before in my 90s, 00s, and 10s life.

 But, as the quote goes "Without struggle, there is no progress." This short film just might have been what I needed to keep me motivated and to help me build a bigger, stronger, and louder voice. 

An Aige Old Radio--literally!

 I HAD to share this with you all!

A gift to me from my lovely grandparents! 

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday!

Taking a Break vs. Rejuvenating

I often find myself "taking breaks" (particularly from my blogs/Tumblrs) simply because I am tired and feel overwhelmed. Ironically, I always procrastinate the work that I feel so "overwhelmed" with doing. I think the idea of doing work is what "overwhelms" me. Yeah. That's it. Then, I like to wait until the last minute to get things done. 

"I work better under pressure..."

 I always feel great after knocking out some assignments or posts shortly before the deadline (or after my personally set deadlines), but knocking things out early always leaves me feeling really good, too. I should do that more often, but--I am a procrastinator. 

As stated above, I'm always "taking breaks" to rebuild my energy and my normal frame of mind, but I rarely use that time to REJUVENATE. For me, taking a break means playing the Sims, scrolling through Tumblr, binge watching television shows online, and/or stuffing my face every two hours. I should put more effort into "pressing pause" as opposed to "hitting stop"--if that makes sense.

I have a paper due in a couple of days and one of the things that we (my class) were supposed to do this week was email my professor telling him what our topics were going to be. I let a day pass without thinking about it. Then, the night before our deadline, I lied in my bed--going crazy trying to think of a topic. You would have thought someone had told me "You must choose between giving up your eyesight or your hearing. You have 48 hours." I mean, I was FUH-REAKING...OUT. Then suddenly, something in my mind told me to Relax.

I rolled over onto my stomach (my favorite sleeping position) and cleared my mind. I literally imagined a windshield wiper "swooshing" out all thoughts of this paper from my mind and I thought about other things--like me giving an acceptance speech at somebody's awards show; Michael B. Jordan holding our newborn baby in his arms--you know, happy and very attainable thoughts. Every time thoughts of that paper popped into my head --swoosh!-- I turned on that windshield wiper. Then, after some time--I don't know how long, but just before I was in those early stages of falling asleep, my topic came floating into my head. At that point, I didn't care anymore, but I did remember it when I woke up the next morning--(thankfully). Hopefully this isn't a "lightning does strike in the same place twice" kind of thing.

The next day went quite smoothly for me. I got other assignments done and was able to sit back and watch my favorite show, Scandal without worrying about an assignment. Now, I've got more things to get out of the way (like drafting and completing that God-forsaken paper), but this time--instead of putting it off and binge watching Twisted or something like that, I'm going to "rejuvenate" for about an hour or two. Not quite sure what I'm going to do yet, but I'm pretty sure Pandora, a book, and a windshield wiper will be involved. 

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I do not own any of the cheesy, but watermarked stock photos above.

--Adrienne (aka "Aige")

Quick Thoughts on Nina Mae McKinney

These "quick thoughts" on Nina Mae McKinney have been on my mind for a few weeks now. In case you don't know, I'm a big fan of Nina Mae McKinney fan--the actress best known for her work as "Chick" in 1929's Hallelujah!--a role that would make her Hollywood's first Black Leading Lady. 

From Afrobella

Just as soon as Ms. McKinney's star rose in Hollywood, it quickly began to fall--a story that a lot of classic actresses of color were/are all too familiar with. However, as always, I have my "shoulda, coulda, woulda's"...

A few weeks ago, I watched a clip of Ms. McKinney in the 1931 pre-code film, Safe in Hell. While watching it, I immediately thought about how perfectly her name would have fit alongside the names of the most notorious Pre-Code queens (Barbara Stanwyck, Marlene Dietrich, Joan Blondell, etc.). She had the looks (but at the same time, she didn't--if you know what I mean) and she definitely had that "Pre-Code" spunk and brashness.

From the trailer for 1935 film, Reckless (Made by me)

Unfortunately, I'm quite certain that if Ms. McKinney were given those envelope-pushing (lead) roles of the early 1930's, there would have been a lot of emphasis on her race--probably to the point of fetish, but it is nice to journey through a perfect world in my mind--a perfect world where Nina Mae McKinney is in front of somebody's camera, exchanging witticisms, getting revenge on her wrongdoers, and shamelessly destroying the patriarchy and racism like her Hollywood peers. 

Some Fires Aren't Meant to Be Put Out......

"Some fires aren't meant to be put out..."

I've made this my new motto (when it comes to Screenwriting). 

One of my favorite movies growing up (and it still is today) was The Preacher's Wife starring Denzel Washington, The Queen of Songbirds aka Whitney Houston, and Courtney B. Vance. In this movie, Whitney's character "Julia" asks Dudley (played by Denzel) something along the lines of "What do you do when your marriage loses its fire?" or "It's spark"--something like that. Dudley tells Julia that you go out for dinner and dancing, but in the end, he reminds her of the conversation and gives a better answer: "Don't let it."

Dudley telling Julia to go out dancing (from IMDb)

I'm taking Dudley's advice. Too often, ideas have come to my mind for this ONE story I've been working on for about a year now--and I've ignored them. I failed to write them down. Instead of sitting at the computer and typing away, I chose to sit at the computer watch yet another episode of Scandal. I've only written one completed draft of this screenplay--and that was for my Screenwriting class. 

I'm a master at procrastination and to be very honest, I'm self-doubt's faithful servant. Many times I've asked myself "Am I really a screenwriter? Is filmmaking really for me?" No quote about writing and procrastination could assure me--they still don't--but I just have to remind myself that the many stories that float around in my head aren't floating around for no reason at all.

Just a quick reminder...[Hypable]

As stated before, I've been working on this one screenplay for almost a year now. It's gone from being about a girl from Harlem who dreams of Broadway to being about a girl from Richmond (my hometown) who dreams of Hollywood. Now, it's grown into something else (something I don't wish to disclose yet). I really don't want to give up on this story--I have no intentions of doing so, but as I get older and closer to graduating and entering the "real world", I realize that procrastination and adulthood don't mix very well--and time wasted is definitely a life wasted.

Tee hee. [Source]

So, if you're like me and you're working on that one special project while dealing with self-doubt and procrastination, just don't give up. I know it's cliché, but it's true (that saying is a cliché too, isn't it?).

If you're a screenwriter, watch movies or read other screenplays. If you're a novelist, read other novels. If you're a painter, observe the world around you. Do whatever it takes to keep that fire from dying!

Books I've checked out from my school's library (my gasoline)

Aige's Favorite Flappers

I am a huge admirer of fierce, spirited, and dynamic women who generally don't comply with the unwritten rules of society. This is probably why I love Pre-Code movies and Rihanna so much. It's also why I love flappers. Here's a list of some my "favorite flappers"--women who really put the roar into the Roaring Twenties. 

Josephine Baker

La Baker--arguably the fiercest and most compelling woman in entertainment history. Whenever you feel like you're not good enough or that you'll never amount to anything--just read a little bit of this woman's story. She went from being a "street kid" to becoming one of the most famous (and richest) women in the world. 

Anna May Wong

I absolutely adore this woman--her style, her story, her overall strive for greatness despite the obstacles. Can't wait to purchase or borrow a biography about her.

Clara Bow

I've always been in love with Clara Bow's curly hair, but it was only recently that her spunky on-screen persona and intricate life story captured my heart and made me a fan. 

"Chick"

Above is a photo of teenage Nina Mae McKinney as her definitive film character, "Chick". Now, why didn't I choose Nina Mae McKinney as my favorite flapper? Because Nina Mae didn't really come into her own until the 1930's--quite some time after the end of the Flapper era. 

Hallelujah!'s "Chick" is the ultimate flapper--she's provocative, carefree, and outspoken. She's definitely one of my favorite movie characters.

Betty Boop

Hey, why not? Although Betty didn't make her debut until 1930 (she was actually dog then; she didn't make her "human" debut until 1932), her entire appearance and persona was based on that of the flapper. Betty is often compared to Clara Bow, but is most believed to be a caricature of singer Helen Kane.

I Watched "Valley of the Dolls"......

I just finished watching this movie for the first time. It's not the worse movie I've ever seen--not even close, but I certainly didn't get much out of it. I wasn't moved, I wasn't touched or inspired. Nothing. I couldn't tell you what I think could have been done to make it better.

Everyone in it was pretty, though. I also liked the theme song.

Can I Share Something with You?

In 1954, Dorothy Dandridge became the first black woman to grace the cover of Life magazine and I am overjoyed and honored to now be the owner of a copy of that magazine.

I've been a big Dorothy Dandridge fan since I was about eight years old, so this is definitely a huge deal for me. Thank God for technology and thank God for Ebay!

Remembering June 25, 2009

I sit in my family's living room writing this post. Across the room--in a chair--sits a poster that we have yet to unwrap. Printed at the bottom of the poster is:

29 August 1958--25 June 2009

There's a photo of Michael Jackson on it, but I have no idea what it looks like. We bought it the same year that he passed, but like I said, we have yet to open it. 

I remember June 25, 2009. My mom was on vacation from work, I was fresh out of school for summer break--it was also my best friend's birthday.

 I never missed The View when I was at home on some sort of break and I didn't miss it that day. I vividly remember Barbara Walters making the announcement that Farrah Fawcett was "in her final hours". Not too long after The View went off, I went online to see that Ms. Fawcett had in fact already passed away. I went through the next few hours of the day feeling bummed--I'd prayed and hoped for Ms. Fawcett to beat the cancer--I loathe cancer and of course, I was very disappointed that another icon, another person period, had lost their life to the ravaging disease. Just when I thought the day couldn't be anymore somber... 

I don't know how long it was after reading about Farrah Fawcett's passing, but I remember either already being upstairs, or heading up the stairs and hearing my mom exclaim "OH MY GOD!" Now, my mom had said "Oh my God" before, but never...never had I heard her say it the way that she said it in that moment. Even as I write this now, I can still hear the distinct sound of her voice saying that very common phrase. She didn't yell it, she didn't "cry out"--I really cannot describe how she said it, but I felt as though I were a gong and she'd just hit me with those words.

I tiptoed down the stairs and walked into the living room--looked at the TV. It was on BBC News actually (on PBS). A helicopter's view of a hospital--at the bottom of the screen, white letters on a red background--something along the lines of "Michael Jackson reported to be dead". I don't remember the exact words, but I remember the statement implied that no one was certain.

I remember running back up the stairs, my face burning, tears rolled down my face. I sobbed. Thinking back on it, it's strange that I cried so suddenly--knowing myself, I would have been too shocked to cry so quickly, but I think as soon as I saw the headline, I knew it was true, just like when Whitney passed. I prayed for this to be a rumor--a "false alarm", but...I knew. I also remember my mom coming up to rub my shoulders. 

I don't remember when it was confirmed--whose confirmation I watched, I don't remember too much of anything after my mom consoling me--I remember either my friends calling me or me calling my friends, but not too much more. 

I'm a huge Whitney Houston fan--and like I stated on my personal Tumblr, when it came to Whitney's death, although I had confidence in her and her health, there was always this lurking darkness--that fear that one day, I just might hear "that news" about Whitney. But when news of Michael Jackson's death broke three years before, it was like I had my back turned to a pitcher and turned around just in time to get hit dead in the face by a fast ball. Even after Michael Jackson had reached the peak of his career, he was still THE biggest (and most talked about) star, no PERSON of my time--probably all time! By the time I was born (1992), I don't think there was anyone on the planet who didn't know who Michael Jackson was. 

"Michael Jackson" and "dead" just didn't sound right in the same sentence. Not in 2009. It wouldn't even sound right in 2058. In the following weeks I found myself pacing around the house for no reason--not being able to sit still for too long. My body was still filled with shock. It took years for Michael Jackson's death to become a reality to me. Now, if it took me that long, I can't even begin to imagine what his family goes through everyday. 

With that said, I will wrap this up before I make myself cry.

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All of my love to The Jackson Family, not only on this particular date, but during this time where unfortunate things are being dealt with within the family.

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All photos obtained from Wikipedia.